Can you see me...

I listened to The Script song, If you could see me now.... It gave me inspiration to write about my greatest person I look up to, my grandfather. Yes this is more personal, but I feel that I need to write about this man that made me who I am today.

I wonder on a daily basis if he can see me and if he's telling his friends up in heaven that I am his child, his grace that he made something more than just that grandchild. I wonder if he would be proud of me? Or would he be upset that I didn't take the opportunities that I gave up to take on chances with other things...

Do you think that when someone so close is taken away that watch over you? He told me before he left "I will follow you wherever you go and leave a white feather" and he does. Well I think he does. I hope I have made him proud, yes there are some days I lay in bed and I am lazy but others I work till I feel dead and cant move anymore. Guess that's what he taught me - work heard.

Some day's I loose my faith in life and I cant see any inspiration to do this degree because I feel that it is too challenging and my marks are dropping but then I think - did he raise a dropout or did he raise a little girl that grew up before her time and made sure I take every opportunity with two hands and smiling! I wish I could see him for ten minutes and just hear what he thinks and has to say, just one hug and a smile.

Funny, every little girl has a man they look up to and he was my idol, my shining knight in armour and he was taken away when I was only six years old. Yes this has nothing to do with my public relations career in your eyes, but to me, he's the man that made me become this student that wants to be something more than just that girl, the girl that got her degree. I want to be known as Rosemary, the girl that probably annoyed her lecturers with questions and challenges but made my mark and made something for my class!

I feel that people are taken away from the youngsters too quickly, yes it is God's way (I say yes too much!) but what if we can't handle it. They gone, we can't show them what we have achieved we look up and speak to them through prey and hope they looking down and saying "well done Rose" but we will never know.

Never take for granted the person you look up to, they can leave so quickly and you will never get the opportunity to thank them and hold them again. That's one thing I regret - never saying goodbye because at seven years of age I was arguing over a girlfriend I thought he had, it was never worth the loss of love I missed out when he passed away.